Welcome to Tantrum of the Week, the parenting podcast that helps you make sense of your child’s hardest moments. Hosted by Lynn McLean, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Registered Play Therapist-Supervisor™, each episode explores one real-life tantrum and uncovers the emotional needs, triggers, and stressors underneath.
You’ll learn how to:
Understand the why behind your child’s behavior
Respond with calm and confidence — not frustration
Build emotional regulation skills through connection
Use play therapy-informed parenting strategies that actually work
Whether you’re dealing with bedtime battles, sibling fights, or after-school meltdowns, Tantrum of the Week offers practical tips, expert insight, and a reminder that you’re not alone.
🎧 New episodes weekly. 📍 Based in Houston, Texas — helpful for parents everywhere.
•Lynn McLean, LCSW-S, Registered Play Therapist-Supervisor ™ •Episode 13
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Tantrum of the Week: Surviving the First Day of Preschool
Back-to-school season is creeping up fast, and for some little ones, that means a big first: starting preschool. In this episode, we tackle a tantrum that's all too common this time of year — a preschooler who melts down at drop-off, clinging, crying, and refusing to let go, even after weeks of careful preparation at home.
We talk through why this kind of separation anxiety is so normal (and so hard on parents too), and walk through practical, in-the-moment strategies you can use the next time it happens: staying calm so your child can co-regulate with you, working with teachers on a soothing handoff, using transition objects like a photo or favorite stuffed animal, and setting up predictable, event-based routines your child can actually understand and rely on.
If you're dreading drop-off this fall, this episode is your reminder: this is a learning process for both of you, and it gets easier with consistency and time.
In this episode:
Why preschool can be a great fit — when the timing and setting are right
What to do in the moment during a drop-off meltdown
Building consistency, routines, and a clear pickup plan
Using transition objects and partnering with the school
For more parenting tips, free downloads, and to join our email list, check the link in our bio!
Thanks for listening to *Tantrum of the Week* with Lynn McLean, LCSW-S, Registered Play Therapist–Supervisor™.
New episodes each week to help parents understand and respond to their child’s biggest feelings with calm, confidence, and connection.
Hi, and welcome back to the tantrum of the week. We're here to talk about tantrums that happen. Just when you get them figured out, you know there's another one that's gonna pop up. And there's nothing wrong with that. That's what kids do. And parents just need some ideas about how to handle them sometimes. Believe it or not, we're already getting back to back to school time. Even though it's just July, things are moving right along, and before we know it, kids are gonna be back in school. So we have a parent wondering about how they're gonna handle their preschooler adjusting to preschool for the first time. This is a little one who's been at home with family since they were born. And even though I'm gonna say going to school is a great thing for little ones this age, as long as it's an appropriate spot, parents feel good about it, and kids have adjusted pretty well to other people in their lives, then we think that a preschool is gonna be a good fit for them. They're gonna get enrichment, they're gonna be around peers. So I do want to say that preschool can be great if it's the right fit for the right kid.
This little one, though, is really having a hard time. Parent has done a lot of preparation, we have a new backpack, we're ready to go, we've adjusted, talked, introduced people to the people at the school, and the child has been in the loop about what's
going on. But when it gets time to go, full blown tantrum. Crying, clinging to mom, won't leave. Mom finally gets him out the door, and then it starts all over again at school. Crying, screaming, it's so upsetting for everybody. Obviously, this little one is overwhelmed by the whole situation. It's embarrassing for the parent and so anxiety-provoking to have your kid so upset about separating from you. You wonder if you're doing the right thing, can be really stressful. So, when it goes on like this, in the moment, you've heard me say this before, but just take a breath. Your own calmness, the more you can stay cool under pressure, it's gonna transfer to your kid, believe it or not. You're gonna help them co-regulate and they're gonna be able to calm down. So just stop wherever you are, maybe pull off to the side a little bit in a hallway, sit on the floor with them, and just help them calm down. Then all you're gonna do is to try to talk to them as much as they can hear you. When they're this little and when they're this upset, not a whole lot is gonna go in. But just talk to them, you know what? We're gonna figure it out. I'm gonna help you, and I'm gonna help you find whoever it is. Ms. So-and-so, some teacher, some um a trusted adult at the school that's gonna be able to help them transition in. You're just gonna take the take your time. Now, they may start crying again. It doesn't mean that all is lost. You're just gonna make your way through this procedure, this process, and it's really a learning process. They're learning to trust that you're gonna be able to drop them off, that you're gonna come back and get them. Now, some kids need more support in this than others, and you we're just gonna have to figure out what the right step is for your kid with school. Hopefully, the school is gonna be a little flexible with you. You know what? They've seen it before. This is really understandable. This is separating from parents is a big deal, especially at this age, and especially to go away for a few hours at a time. You know, some little schools are only a four to six hour stay, some are all day, some are working parent households, and kids are there for the whole time that parents are at work. So hopefully your child will start to develop the stamina and the understanding that they're that you're gonna come back and they're learning that too. This is a huge developmental task, and one that not everybody gets just right away. They may love being with peers, and they probably will learn and enjoy that more over the course of time. So just knowing that all is not lost just because there's a tantrum on the first day of school, the first week of school, your kid's not doing it wrong, you're not doing it wrong, y'all are all gonna figure this out. This is just really stressful.
So, consistency is gonna be key for you. You've already done the great hard work. In this situation, the parents already done amazing work about telling the parent the kid where they're gonna go to school, how it's gonna go. Here's your special stuff. Sometimes kids need a little bit extra. So it's not uncommon for um a photo of a parent or the family, maybe laminated, so the child can have it with them, can help remind them that um parents are gonna come back, being really clear about when that's gonna happen. Little kids are event driven, so they're gonna want to know okay, I'm gonna come back and get you after nap time, not after I get off work. You know, I'm gonna um get in the car and I'm gonna come get you. They they don't understand that as well. So if you can work with the school to understand what the schedule is gonna be, when pickup is gonna be according to that schedule, your child is gonna be able to understand the uh routine a little bit better. They're gonna be able to calm and rely on that, and that's the thing you can keep reminding them of. Another thing that it can be really tempting to do is second guess yourself as a parent when your child is having this much difficulty separating from you. Nobody wants their child to be really upset. We don't start out that way. That's not why we do what we do, and it can be really tempting to say, you know what, they're not ready. They're not ready to go to school. That may be true. It absolutely may be true, but give it time, give it some consistency, give it some practice because that's what your child is doing. They're learning, they're practicing. Work with the school on the best ways to make the transfer. It could be that a teacher could come out, meet y'all at the car, take the child in. You definitely want to be as soothing as you can. You don't want it to be, uh-huh, you're coming in right now. We don't want it to be a disciplinary feel or a um, we don't care how you feel, feel. We want it to be, we understand this is really hard. We're gonna help you. You're gonna be able to do it, and I'm gonna help you go in. And then what you would want is for that school person, that trusted adult, to do the same co-regulation that I mentioned earlier: breathing with them, talking to them, helping them find something that they can transition to in the classroom. Speaking
of transitions, sometimes a transition object is amazing. So it may be a levy that your kid wants to have with them. Be sure it's not the only one, the most precious one. Um, if it's irreplaceable, think twice about sending it to school. But in general, if there's a little thing that makes them feel great, I mentioned the photo of parent or family, family pet, whatever can help them feel comforted. That might be a transition object. There may be a stuffy that they want to take. Kids, they love a lot of different things. And so if there's something that makes them feel great, have that go with them. Again, communication with the school is a big deal. Some schools don't really love that because then it's hard to keep up with things. So knowing what's happening at school and what works for them is gonna help you then provide for your kid and make this transition great. I think that a transition to preschool can be so hard and such a steep learning curve. Not gonna lie for parents as well as toddlers, but everybody can do it and lots of kids then just blossom once they get into preschool. I hope that this helps. I hope the Santrum of the Week, if it is happening at your house, is not going on for very long. And I hope that some of these ideas help you put yourself back together as you help put your kid back together in going to preschool.
If this has been helpful to you, check out our other videos, podcasts, and there's lots of information on our website. The link is in the bio and in our information. There are free downloads you can get, and get on our email list, and you'll find out free tips and tricks about parenting because I want y'all to know all the things I know because I really want things to go great at your house. Take good care. Hang in there. You got this.
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